I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
