chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
