No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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