Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
