if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
