I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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