I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Congratulations! We have a period
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