Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
