I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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