apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
