her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
