Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
