drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
a search helicopter?!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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