You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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