I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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