i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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