we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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