Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
