They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
