Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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