the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
