Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
