it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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