problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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