Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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