Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
