i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's Friday. Sex?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
