I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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