There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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