OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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