i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
