Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
