we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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