So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
