Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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