He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
