what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
