Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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