I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
