just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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