he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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