I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
