okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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