i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
