I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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