You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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