just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
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