Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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