We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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