You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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