when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
