There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
