also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
