Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Everclear isn't food dammit
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
