the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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