We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
