So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
